Saturday, November 4, 2017; we coulda’ celebrated a birthday today. Carter would have been 9 months old. And I’m confident we woulda’ done so if he were still with us. Furthermore, in my shortsighted narrow mind we shoulda’ had the opportunity to do so. However, “shoulda’” is out of our hands and beyond our control; shoulda’ is in the hands of The One Who made him.
“For You created Carter’s inmost being; You knit him together in his mother’s womb. I praise You because he was fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Carter’s frame was not hidden from You when he was made in the secret place. When he was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw his unformed body. All the days ordained for him were written in Your book before one of them came to be.” Ps 139: 13-16 modified for Carter.
It’s been a difficult day for several reasons, but mainly because I’ve missed my Little Buddy so badly. I want to see him, hold him, and kiss his chubby little cheeks. I cannot imagine the aching hearts of his mom and dad.
We have come so far over the past 6 months. But we do still have a ways to go. A day like today really shows just how far we do have to go. But we are moving in the right direction, I believe, and as long as we do that we will eventually regain our lives.